No Problems in America Says Bush

Here you go good Americans, great news from our fearless and clueless leader’s own mouth. America has no problems, so all you misguided and misinformed Americans who have lost your homes to foreclosure, lost your jobs, have had your bank go under, and worry about the United States being the greatest debtor nation in the history of the world can just stop worrying and once again head for the shopping mall.

This amazing interview occurred while George W. Bush was in Beijing, China for the first few days of the Olympic Games. I’m sure his remarks to Chinese leaders about their need to follow the US into bankruptcy by more closely following US policies was well received by Chinese leaders. Probably just as well received as his remarks to Russian Premier Putin that the Russians had overreached in their response to being attacked by our good friends in Georgia, you know, the ones we have been supplying advanced weapons and military advisers to.

If the first step in solving problems is to acknowledge that they exist then don’t expect any help from Washington, anytime soon. Maybe what Bush really meant is that he doesn’t see any problems with his own family’s standard of living. Air Force One is still flying fine and the Whitehouse is a pretty nice place to live. And that Marine helicopter must be fun to fly around in, especially to Camp David.

As for the rest of you poor sap American taxpayers, errrr, that is, lucky hard working American citizens, just stop worrying so much, be happy, and go shopping. Who needs a house to live in anyhow? You are going to like that cardboard box under the bridge.